she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you win again, gameday.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
