We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
