screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
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How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
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6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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