I feel like abortions should bother me more
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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