her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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