Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
