Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
