i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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