i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
