Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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