I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize