I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
