Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
