We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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