It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
