I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize