He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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