Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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