Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
