Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
