garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i need some magic done to my vagina
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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