I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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