and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
