I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
