Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
