physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
