my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
