4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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