i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
