Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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