Cold hands, warm shart.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
