am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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