im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
