I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize