maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
