she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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