Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
