my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
