I think I died a long time ago.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
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I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
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Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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