This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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