i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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