to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
