I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My bed smells like the plague
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
