were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
