Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
