dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
