adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
