I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
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So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
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Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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