Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
