i barfeds in our rink
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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