careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
