I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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