I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
