I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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