HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
