Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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