I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
