I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
