State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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