4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
