Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize